“All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.”
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.”
“Doing the job wrong fourteen times gives you job security.”
“Don't rush me. I'm waiting for the last minute.”
“Don't think of me as a boss. Think of me as a friend who is always right.”
“Economists are people who work with numbers but don't have the personality to be accountants.”
“Go the extra mile: it makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.”
“Hang in there: retirement is only 30 years away!”
“Hard work never killed anyone but some of us don't like to take chances.”
“I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.”
“I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm! This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!”
“I work hard because millions on welfare depend upon me.”
“If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.”
“It sure does make the day long when you get to work on time!”
“Nothing makes me more productive than the last minute.”
“Of course I don't look busy...I did it right the first time!”
“Pride, commitment, teamwork--words we use to get you to work for free.”
“Science may never come up with a better office communications system than the coffee break.”
“Teamwork means never having to take all the blame yourself.”
“The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office.”
“The first 90% of a project takes 90% of the time, the last 10% takes the other 90% of the time.”
“The more time you spend in reporting on what you are doing, the less time you have to do anything. Stability is achieved when you spend all your time doing nothing but reporting on the nothing you are doing.”
“The only thing wrong with doing nothing is that you never know when you're finished.”
“The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.”
“There are two kinds of people: people who like their jobs, and people who don't work here anymore.”
“There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.”