I was born in the rice fields of Vietnam on June 14, 1985. Our family was very poor as the country was still recovering from the war. There was a massive food shortage and times when we went days without access to meat. In 1988, when mom was pregnant with her third son — dad being the risk taker that he is, decided to take a chance at escaping a war-torn country in search of a better future. After hearing through the grapevine that America was accepting refugees, he managed to convince a dozen of his friends to put money together for a 20 foot fishing boat and sail West. The only memory I have of Vietnam was when mom took me to a small shack in the middle of a rice field, we knocked on the door and told a very old lady that we were leaving and we may never see her again. I later asked mom about this, she said she didn’t remember, because she had told no-one except for close family. This was my oldest memory and I have no idea where it came from. Imagine having to tell your family and friends that you were leaving everyone and everything you’ve ever known to travel to unknown lands, in the hopes that the grass is greener on the other side. Approximately 500,000 Vietnamese refugees died at sea, or 50% of the people who embarked on this journey.
It was in the middle of the night, we had packed enough food and water for the trip; and at the very last moment, the family decided that my uncle (who was a troublemaker and wasn’t doing anything with his life) would join us to take a chance at turning his life around. But his story would end tragically as you will soon find out. We uncovered the boat buried underneath some trees — then off we went. The trip was gruesome, and mom was very sick while pregnant. We ran out of food and had to land on shore to steal from locals, usually in the middle of the night so we wouldn’t be detected. After 3 months at sea, the boat was leaking badly so we decided to land on the shores of Hong Kong and swam the final few meters — we had finally made it. As soon as we touched land, everyone was taken into refugee camps where mom and dad lied about their age to be better suited for work on foreign land.
After a few months we were released from camp, dad found work in construction and we stayed on the 2nd floor of a one-room wooden apartment. My brother Tac and I started attending school where we would learn Chinese. And this was where my youngest brother Tien was born. I remember one rainy night, dad was extremely sick so mom gave me some money to run to the store to buy him cigarettes. I ran through the streets of Hong Kong, got to the store, picked up a pack of cigarettes and chewing gum for myself, then ran back through the rain — I was only 4. I know this story may sound cliché — I guess it’s more common than you’d think.
News came in the form that our family was accepted by the province of Québec in Canada, so we hopped on a plane and flew towards yet another foreign land. Our family spent 6 months in Québec City; went to public school and took advantage of the amenities like social welfare and government housing. We got in touch with our uncle who was residing in Toronto at the time, he convinced us to move there; where there are more people like us. He showed up with a flatbed truck in the middle of the night. We packed up everything we owned then headed west, yet again. Laying there on a mattress on the back of a 10 foot container felt eerie, yet familiar at the same time.
In Toronto, we moved around a lot. Jumping from school to school and never really settling in. We ended up 3 hours south in a small town called Chatham; where all the kids would attend Catholic elementary and high schools. The 90’s rang bells of nostalgia from Sega Genesis; to school dances; to long bike rides on summer breaks — and made many life-long friends. This was where my sister Ellen was born. Mom and dad enrolled us into Taekwondo for a better part of the decade where we would take home provincial and national championships. In high school I excelled in sports and art; however, my grades would suffer due to the introduction to RPG games like Diablo and StarCraft. This was where I would disappear in my room for 12 or more hours — on school nights.
Mom and dad were labour workers their entire lives. It wasn’t uncommon for them to work 2 jobs without any sleep, but the hard work paid off, we were able to buy our first house; on which we had to sell largely due to dad’s gambling problem. We found out through friends that my uncle was living on the streets in downtown Toronto; mom and dad drove there, picked him up, and he would stay with us for the next few years. He managed to put his life back together, found a job, got married and had a kid. But later lost it all due to his drug addictions. One time; mom and dad went back to Vietnam to visit for the first time after 10 years — all the kids were staying with a family friend — and when they came back; my uncle had sold everything in the house for drugs. Dad beat the crap out of him in the alley beside the house and we would not see him for many years after that. The next morning; as we were leaving for school, our Nintendo gaming console was sitting on the front porch — a last ditch effort on my uncle’s part to show that he was still human.
I got my first computer at 15 and knew right away that this was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. After high school, I enrolled in computer programming at Fanshawe College in London. From there I moved to Guelph in search of work; it came in the form of a small mailing company in Hamilton as a database programmer. I moved there and got a small one-bedroom apartment on Ferguson Street on the 17th floor. At this time, dad had put the family through more hardship through his risky investments. We agreed to move in together; so they packed up, left Chatham and moved into my apartment. We later bought a house together.
For the next few years we lived together as one big happy family. Mom was a cook at a local restaurant, and dad had a good job at a greenhouse. This was around the time I started dabbling in entrepreneurship. One night, I called my brother Tien up — who was in university at the time — about something called the UFC and if he wanted to start a website together. It immediately hit it off, accumulating over 200,000 users in a few short months. We later sold it and I used the money to leave my job to start a web consulting company. These were the best times of my life. The company was successful. I had lots of friends. Traveled a lot. Had plenty of time to excel in various combat sports, even fighting competitively. And this is when I met my wife Mini, we got married in July of 2015.
Now comes the downfall. With the money, came the partying and the drugs. The money would eventually run out. The businesses started failing. Friends were no longer around. Mom had 2 brain tumours on which an emergency operation was needed. Dad was diagnosed with Raynaud’s disease and is no longer working. And at around the same time, I found out that my uncle was being deported back to Vietnam due to his drug addictions. Not being able to live with the shame he took his own life. He was 47, leaving behind his wife and daughter.
My late twenties was a blur; from heavy pot use, to binge drinking, regretful decisions, depression, and the weight of having two sick parents. Not to mention, having to pay a mortgage with a business that wasn’t making any money. My wife convinced me to start over, to quit pursuing my million dollar ideas and get a full-time job. It came in the form of a web developer at a local manufacturing company. I’ve always told her that I’d quit pot one-day, but just not today — I never did keep that promise. Because the next idea is going to be the one that makes it and pick us up out of this rut, it never was. After years of lying to myself, abusing my body, my mind, and everyone around me; this was my lowest point — so I’d thought. It was at this point that I decided to put my life back together; with the help of philosophy, religion, online role models, and great books from great men of the past. A great man once said, “Everyone you’ve ever loved will eventually die; and at your parents funeral, will you be a rock that everyone can lean on or will you be like a child crying in the corner?” I needed to be the best version of myself. I quit pot, cleaned myself up, started running religiously, and got back into shape. Things were looking up. The wife and I bought our first house together, got a dog, and was planning on starting a family. The next few years got a lot better. I started attending community events, philosophy meetups, and joined several gyms. And this was when I started dabbling in comedy…
This autobiography was written in September of 2019 — fast-forward to July, 2023 — I’m now divorced, unemployed, and living out of a room in Paris, Ontario. This is now my new lowest point.
— Van
It was in the middle of the night, we had packed enough food and water for the trip; and at the very last moment, the family decided that my uncle (who was a troublemaker and wasn’t doing anything with his life) would join us to take a chance at turning his life around. But his story would end tragically as you will soon find out. We uncovered the boat buried underneath some trees — then off we went. The trip was gruesome, and mom was very sick while pregnant. We ran out of food and had to land on shore to steal from locals, usually in the middle of the night so we wouldn’t be detected. After 3 months at sea, the boat was leaking badly so we decided to land on the shores of Hong Kong and swam the final few meters — we had finally made it. As soon as we touched land, everyone was taken into refugee camps where mom and dad lied about their age to be better suited for work on foreign land.
After a few months we were released from camp, dad found work in construction and we stayed on the 2nd floor of a one-room wooden apartment. My brother Tac and I started attending school where we would learn Chinese. And this was where my youngest brother Tien was born. I remember one rainy night, dad was extremely sick so mom gave me some money to run to the store to buy him cigarettes. I ran through the streets of Hong Kong, got to the store, picked up a pack of cigarettes and chewing gum for myself, then ran back through the rain — I was only 4. I know this story may sound cliché — I guess it’s more common than you’d think.
News came in the form that our family was accepted by the province of Québec in Canada, so we hopped on a plane and flew towards yet another foreign land. Our family spent 6 months in Québec City; went to public school and took advantage of the amenities like social welfare and government housing. We got in touch with our uncle who was residing in Toronto at the time, he convinced us to move there; where there are more people like us. He showed up with a flatbed truck in the middle of the night. We packed up everything we owned then headed west, yet again. Laying there on a mattress on the back of a 10 foot container felt eerie, yet familiar at the same time.
In Toronto, we moved around a lot. Jumping from school to school and never really settling in. We ended up 3 hours south in a small town called Chatham; where all the kids would attend Catholic elementary and high schools. The 90’s rang bells of nostalgia from Sega Genesis; to school dances; to long bike rides on summer breaks — and made many life-long friends. This was where my sister Ellen was born. Mom and dad enrolled us into Taekwondo for a better part of the decade where we would take home provincial and national championships. In high school I excelled in sports and art; however, my grades would suffer due to the introduction to RPG games like Diablo and StarCraft. This was where I would disappear in my room for 12 or more hours — on school nights.
Mom and dad were labour workers their entire lives. It wasn’t uncommon for them to work 2 jobs without any sleep, but the hard work paid off, we were able to buy our first house; on which we had to sell largely due to dad’s gambling problem. We found out through friends that my uncle was living on the streets in downtown Toronto; mom and dad drove there, picked him up, and he would stay with us for the next few years. He managed to put his life back together, found a job, got married and had a kid. But later lost it all due to his drug addictions. One time; mom and dad went back to Vietnam to visit for the first time after 10 years — all the kids were staying with a family friend — and when they came back; my uncle had sold everything in the house for drugs. Dad beat the crap out of him in the alley beside the house and we would not see him for many years after that. The next morning; as we were leaving for school, our Nintendo gaming console was sitting on the front porch — a last ditch effort on my uncle’s part to show that he was still human.
I got my first computer at 15 and knew right away that this was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. After high school, I enrolled in computer programming at Fanshawe College in London. From there I moved to Guelph in search of work; it came in the form of a small mailing company in Hamilton as a database programmer. I moved there and got a small one-bedroom apartment on Ferguson Street on the 17th floor. At this time, dad had put the family through more hardship through his risky investments. We agreed to move in together; so they packed up, left Chatham and moved into my apartment. We later bought a house together.
For the next few years we lived together as one big happy family. Mom was a cook at a local restaurant, and dad had a good job at a greenhouse. This was around the time I started dabbling in entrepreneurship. One night, I called my brother Tien up — who was in university at the time — about something called the UFC and if he wanted to start a website together. It immediately hit it off, accumulating over 200,000 users in a few short months. We later sold it and I used the money to leave my job to start a web consulting company. These were the best times of my life. The company was successful. I had lots of friends. Traveled a lot. Had plenty of time to excel in various combat sports, even fighting competitively. And this is when I met my wife Mini, we got married in July of 2015.
Now comes the downfall. With the money, came the partying and the drugs. The money would eventually run out. The businesses started failing. Friends were no longer around. Mom had 2 brain tumours on which an emergency operation was needed. Dad was diagnosed with Raynaud’s disease and is no longer working. And at around the same time, I found out that my uncle was being deported back to Vietnam due to his drug addictions. Not being able to live with the shame he took his own life. He was 47, leaving behind his wife and daughter.
My late twenties was a blur; from heavy pot use, to binge drinking, regretful decisions, depression, and the weight of having two sick parents. Not to mention, having to pay a mortgage with a business that wasn’t making any money. My wife convinced me to start over, to quit pursuing my million dollar ideas and get a full-time job. It came in the form of a web developer at a local manufacturing company. I’ve always told her that I’d quit pot one-day, but just not today — I never did keep that promise. Because the next idea is going to be the one that makes it and pick us up out of this rut, it never was. After years of lying to myself, abusing my body, my mind, and everyone around me; this was my lowest point — so I’d thought. It was at this point that I decided to put my life back together; with the help of philosophy, religion, online role models, and great books from great men of the past. A great man once said, “Everyone you’ve ever loved will eventually die; and at your parents funeral, will you be a rock that everyone can lean on or will you be like a child crying in the corner?” I needed to be the best version of myself. I quit pot, cleaned myself up, started running religiously, and got back into shape. Things were looking up. The wife and I bought our first house together, got a dog, and was planning on starting a family. The next few years got a lot better. I started attending community events, philosophy meetups, and joined several gyms. And this was when I started dabbling in comedy…
This autobiography was written in September of 2019 — fast-forward to July, 2023 — I’m now divorced, unemployed, and living out of a room in Paris, Ontario. This is now my new lowest point.
— Van